Building trust quickly in the workplace is no mean feat, especially when there are no existing relationships in place. So how do you get people on your side quickly when you don’t have a relationship with them? Jamie explores the challenge of needing people’s help (fast!) when we don’t have a connection with them.

We’ve all been there – needing someone’s help when there’s no existing relationship to lean on.

Maybe it’s a Finance Manager chasing last-minute numbers from another department, only to be met with silence. Or a sales lead trying to rally support from the tech team to meet a client deadline but struggling to get a response. In both cases, it’s not that people don’t want to help – it’s that they don’t yet feel connected to the person asking.

Building trust: why it matters in the workplace

Without trust or familiarity, even simple requests can feel like extra work. And when that happens across teams or departments, momentum stalls. Projects slow down, communication breaks down, and frustration builds.

I’ve previously written about how to build strong stakeholder relationships – but what happens when you don’t have a relationship yet? How do you get people on your side when you need their help, fast?

The outsider’s story – a lesson in building trust and connection

This is where I share a story and invite you to consider what you’d do next, once you’ve read it:

You are the Chief of a small band who have resided on the lands you call home. You’ve lived in harmony with nature and built a strong community, founded on a rich culture full of traditions and festivals.

But in recent years, the climate changed. The ground no longer produced as much food as it used to, and sometimes people went hungry. The sea levels have risen and, as people moved their homes further inland, people found themselves living closer and closer together, with tensions rising.

As the Chief, you made the difficult decision for you and your people to leave your ancestral land, depart on several small ships and venture overseas in search of a new place to call home.

You sailed aimlessly for several weeks, forever staring out into the abyss, watching your supplies dwindle away, just like your hope.

But suddenly, you heard a shout, “Land ahoy!”

Everyone stood up in excitement. In the distance you could just about make out the hazy grey blur on the horizon. Land!

With the ships finally close enough to drop anchor, you join your companions on a small boat and row ashore, dropping to your knees and kissing the sand of your new home.

What lies before you is a beautiful island, unlike anything you’ve ever seen. The trees are different, the animals are different, even the weather feels different. The sound of a gentle breeze and thriving wildlife fills the air.

But in the distance, you see people watching suspiciously. This island is already inhabited, and you weren’t invited.

For the first few days, you settle on the beach, and gradually venture inland, exploring the wonders the island has to offer you, constantly aware of prying eyes watching you from afar.

But food is scarce. The animals run, climb and fly, and your people struggle to catch them. There is fruit, but not enough to sustain all your people, and some of it makes people sick.

After a few days, the supplies on your ship are finished, and you still haven’t figured out how to find enough food on this island.

You realise you need help. You and your companions decide to venture inland to contact the island’s inhabitants.

Finally you reach their settlement. This is a different people – they act differently, look different, sound different.. They are just as advanced as you, but in different ways. They’ve been expecting you but not needing you. Nonetheless, you need them.

You are The Outsiders, you do not belong here, nor were you invited. Yet here you are.

What “the outsider” can teach us about building trust quickly in the workplace

Pause for a moment and imagine yourself as that Chief.

You’ve arrived somewhere new, in need of help, surrounded by people who don’t know you and who didn’t ask for you to be there. You know you need their support to survive, but you also know they have no reason to trust you yet.

It’s a situation that might feel distant in context but close in experience. Because in today’s workplaces, we often find ourselves as “the outsider.”

Managers trying to influence senior stakeholders without a prior connection.

Trainers launching a new learning programme across teams who are already stretched.

Leaders needing buy-in from colleagues who don’t yet see the value of change.

When we need help from people we don’t yet have a relationship with, our instincts often take over: we focus on the task, the deadline, the outcome. But influence, and building trust quickly in the workplace, doesn’t start with asking – it starts with understanding.

How to build trust fast and connect before you ask

Consider:

  • How do you approach people when you need their help but don’t yet have their trust?
  • What signals might you unintentionally send that make collaboration harder?
  • How might you build a connection before you make a request next time?

These are the small but powerful moments that shape our ability to work and collaborate.

In an upcoming article, we’ll explore exactly that – finding a healthy balance between the need to get things done and the need to connect with others.

You can also check out The Story Habit’s workshops and webinars designed to help people communicate with impact, influence stakeholders and strengthen relationships across the workplace.